Being A Mom And How It Changed My Life
My First Pregnancy
When I first found out I was pregnant I cried. Yes! I balled my eyes out and didn't know what to do. I thought my whole life was going to be over. Men was I wrong! I never knew that moment how much my life would change and have so much meaning to it. A few weeks after, I had the opportunity to hear the baby's heartbeat and see an ultrasound of the tiny human growing inside me. I called her my little blob.
A few weeks later I started spotting blood a little and had horrible pains. We immediately went in to get checked and was told I might of miscarried. I didn't believe them as it was just spotting and for some reason I can feel life still inside me. This is when I realized I was connected somehow to my little girl. Some how I knew if she was in trouble or not. I knew that day that she was just fine and that there was nothing to worry about. It was exactly that. A horrible false alarm. Don't get me wrong. I still worried and kept second guessing myself but it felt like she was talking to me somehow saying, "Mommy, I am ok."
Pregnancy continued and the day to finally hold my little girl was here. Well so I thought. I finally got admitted into L&D after days of in and out of that place due to leaking baby fluids and constant contractions 3 minutes apart that were supposedly just Braxton Hicks. I spent the night pushing and pushing and bleeding more and more till it was time to go do an emergency surgery. At this moment I knew something was wrong.
Since weeks before labor I had a feeling that something was going to happen. My heart sunk that very minute when the doctor told me about the surgery. They explained what was going on and immediately prepped me to go to the OR. Worse and most painful surgery of my life but somehow that moment when I heard her first cry and saw her across the room, I had this sense of pride, love, emotions, everything that I never had felt before. It was a feeling that I can't even explain till this day. I knew this very moment that I was a MOM and my whole life was going to change for the better. March 21, 2012 I became a MOM to a beautiful little baby girl and I couldn't even imagine how I ever lived life without her.
Two years later I got pregnant again shortly after my husband's homecoming from deployment. I was excited but nervous at the same time as I had such a huge love for Bella that I didn't know if I could love Isa the same way. I didn't want to favor any of them and always wanted things to be fair. The months went by and I loved watching my baby bump grow and feeling her move. My love kept growing for her but I was still scared that I wouldn't love her the same.
We went in for my second cesarean, this time planned due to the history. I was able to take a picture with her, give her a kiss, and once again, my whole life was changed. She's beautiful! How can I not love her the same as Bella? She is as perfect as her sister. I can even see it in their eyes that they are sisters. What was I thinking all those months. I immediately hugged her once we got back in the room and whispered in her ear that I will always love and care for her for as long as I can.
Now it's 2017 and I have two beautiful little girls but they are soooooo different in their own little special ways. One is such a diva always wanting to dress up. Every morning she gets herself dressed for school and wants a specific outfit or color for that day. Oh and it HAS to match. I'm good with it matching so no issues there but she literally stresses so much about it that it's funny and cute. She's my preppier of the two but she can go from preppy to getting dirty out in the woods in a matter of seconds.
Then there is my little one, Isa, who is more of a destroyer of things yet has to be clean. If she has even a small little dirt spot on her shirt from playing outside she will rush inside to change. Her clothes, hands, feet, shoes, nothing can be dirty though she loves to be messy. She leaves all her crayons, books, toys, everything everywhere and to get her to pick them up can be like fighting with a concrete wall to move. Yes she's the more stubborn of the two but she's so sweet always giving kisses and hugs. In other words she knows her way into everyone's hearts and how to get out of trouble. Well they both do. I mean how can you not melt when you see their glowing little angel eyes right? Moms, you know what I am saying.
Alike Yet Unique
When I was pregnant with Isa I thought they were both going to be very similar. I was in for a big surprise. Every thing down to the smallest detail is different. The best part of being a mom to these two crazy little girls is watching them be sisters though. They can go from cuddles, hugs, and kisses to fighting over a toy or about how to color the Power Puff Girls. One has a huge imagination and creativity while the other one has to be creative in a specific way. Bella has to know what the correct colors are for the cartoons and even makes me Google them for her so she can color them just how they are supposed to be. Isa can care less about the colors as long as the whole paper is colored with many colors.
It's these little details that make me crazy in love with my two little girls. They may drive me insane most days but men do they have me wrapped around their little fingers. It's also so cute to see how Isa now tries to imitate her big sister. She's always doing everything Bella does. She even tries to learn the same things Bella is so they can be at the same level. This actually works great for me. She has learned her ABC's and how to count with her sister. She even started carrying a conversation at a very young age.
Being A Mom
Being a mom has truly been a blessing. It does has it's up and downs just like anything else. There's days where I just need a break from them cause they are just all over the place. Then there's days when I need my little girls to cuddle with me tonight. Being a mom is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I absolutely love it.